


not you/yes, me [not me/yes, you]

by if_my_words_were_art



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Cute, Gen, I didnt sleep at all tonight, I have school in an hour, Pointless, Sad, Save Me, Self-Harm, not lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:23:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/if_my_words_were_art/pseuds/if_my_words_were_art
Summary: josh doesn't see the fresh cuts on tyler's wrist.until he does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I put more effort into fan fiction than I do my appearance

Josh didn't notice the fresh cuts on Tyler's wrist. Or if he did, he pretended not to. Tyler tried to keep them concealed, but  occasionally his sleeve involuntarily rode up and exposed the scabs for a split second.

It was lunch time, and Josh was rambling on about his newest drum technique as Tyler attempted and re-attempted writing his lyrics. They were at a café near Tyler's apartment. Both wanted to go out for some greasy fast food, but quickly changed plans when they grew lazy for a ten minute trip to a restaurant. So instead they ended up here: Josh talking and sipping his hot chocolate, Tyler writing and nibbling occasionally at his croissant.

"I can show you," Josh offers, getting Tyler's attention.

"Show me what?" Tyler asks, looking up.

"My drumming! Have you been listening to a word I've said?" he asked with a breathy chuckle.

"Well, I've been _hearing_ you..."

Josh, pausing his sip, leaned halfway over and inquired about the lyrics. Excited, Tyler pushed his notebook forward and accidentally bumped the bottom of Josh's mug, splashing now-room-temperature hot chocolate all along Tyler's sleeve and the corner of the notebook.

"Shit," Josh mumbled, eyes widening. "Oh my God I'm so sorry."

"S'okay, just gotta go clean," Tyler responded, quickly rushing to the bathroom. Seconds later, Josh arrived, nervously tugging at his hair.

"You didn't get burned, did you?!"

Tyler smirked and briefly thought that Josh looked far too cute with anxiety sketching his soft features.

"It was room temp, Josh. I'm fine."

Josh started to frantically gather paper towels from the dispenser, pulling Tyler's soaked arm forward. Tyler realized a second too late why he shouldn't let Josh pull up his sleeve. Josh didn't see the cuts as he immediately applied the dry towel to the damp skin, his face focusing on Tyler.

"I'm really, really sorry," Josh apoligized, guilty.

"S'okay," Tyler said automatically, prefixed with Josh's hand dabbing at his cuts. His heart sped up, praying Josh would not see.

"No, I can tell you're bothered. God, I'm such a fool. I made a scene." Josh winced at the accusing words flooding his brain. "I scre-- wait, what's this?"

And then what Tyler was dreading arrived.

"Just some scratches," Tyler said quietly. "Ya know, from cats and stuff."

He tried to retract his arm, but Josh's grip made that impossible. Horror bled onto Josh's features, prompting him to roll up Tyler's other sleeve, where skin was littered with scars, and lift the torso of his shirt, showing thick scars across his stomach.

"No," Josh said quietly. "No."

Tyler stared off into space, convincing himself this wasn't happening. For once he wanted to be normal and not fuck things up, and yet here he was, being exposed as a dumbass once again.

Something warm surrounded Tyler, and he realized slowly that it was Josh, hugging him with a protective grip.

"No, no, no, no, no," Josh whispered into Tyler's ear. "Not you."

"Yes me," Tyler said, voice cracking and hurling him into a chorus of sobs. Josh squeezed him tighter.

"Why, why, why, why," Josh chanted, rocking his and Tyler's figures.

"It makes me feel alive."

"What else would?" Josh asked quietly, pulling away.

"I... I don't know."

Josh thought for a moment, humming. "Okay, follow me."

Josh ordered another hot chocolate, this one to go. He took Tyler outside in the snow and they sat on a bench. Gingerly, Josh handed the cup over.

"Drink it."

"Josh, it's just hot chocolate."

"Drink, dude."

And so Tyler did, and his body lit up piece by piece. The burning chocolaty cream traveled down his throat, ignited his belly. The snow flakes flying on his skin felt like ice cubes glued on, each slap of the wind making the chocolate even hotter. Before he knew it, he had guzzled the whole cup.

"See?" Josh asked, giving a goofy smile. "Magic."

"Why did... How did you think of doing this?" Tyler asked, sloshing what was left in his cup around.

Josh bit his lip. "Well, it's hard to speak in front of people, for me at least. So before school on presentation days, my mom would make me hot chocolate and force me to sit outside. On hot days, it was ice cream. The experience was... indescribable. It calmed me, 'cause it was just so shocking, you know? So I figured you should try it."

"Thank you," Tyler said softly, staring at the snow on the ground.

Josh smiled and his eyes crinkled. "No problem. That's what friends are for."

"You? A friend?" Tyler blurted, laughing. Josh froze. "Definitely a future boyfriend. For sure."

"Not me!" Josh laughed.

"Yes, you!" Tyler cried.

And Tyler thought that if hot chocolate, snow, and Josh Dun could make him feel alive, maybe he should abandon the rusty razor at home.

**Author's Note:**

> lenny: a poem
> 
> if i had a penny  
> for every time i used lenny,  
> i'd have plenty a penny  
> thanks to lenny
> 
> thank, thank you all.
> 
>  
> 
> (why yes I do do autographs)


End file.
